Obscure Holidays: Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day

by Anna Sandy  ·  January 22, 2015

BukowskiCatIn the world of obscure holidays, today is “Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day.”
If you don’t have cats, this holiday may not be for you. If you don’t like cats, this holiday is definitely not for you. If you do, in fact, own a cat (or two or five), then you are probably like me—wondering why there isn’t a holiday where your cat has to answer your questions. After all, judging by my cat’s behavior, he is currently a) planning world domination, b) plotting to kill me, and c) pondering the answers to all of the world’s greatest questions. But alas, today is not that day. Today is the day you answer your cat’s questions. So, get down on his/her level, make meaningful eye contact, and listen to those meows until you understand just what it is that your cat wishes to know. Now, I’m fairly sure that my cat’s questions consist mostly of the following, in repeat:
“Why is my food bowl missing those bites I just ate?”
“Why is my water bowl only ¾ full?”
“How dare you not clean out my litter box every single time I use it?”
“Excuse me, don’t you know that 5 am is play time? Hellooooo.”
And, most likely, “Why aren’t you grateful that I let you live in my house, human?”
Typically, I yell out the answers to these questions in frustration when I have tripped over him for the fifteenth time that day/been woken up for the sun by furry little paws on my face for the fourth day in a row/am trying to write a blog post but can’t concentrate on anything but the pitiful meowing coming from somewhere near my feet/etc. But today, in honor of this especially pointless holiday, I’ll have a real one-on-one talk with my curious cat. Feel free to do the same. Or just enjoy this poem by Charles Bukowski:

My Cats

I know. I know.
they are limited, have different
needs and

but I watch and learn from them.
I like the little they know,
which is so

they complain but never
they walk with a surprising dignity.
they sleep with a direct simplicity that
humans just can’t

their eyes are more
beautiful than our eyes.
and they can sleep 20 hours
a day
hesitation or

when I am feeling
all I have to do is
watch my cats
and my

I study these

they are my